DougW. 
Cibbuano
Sandi Thom - A Deconstruction
August 14th 2006 14:40
Okey dokey, it's time to kick the critical shit out of Sandi Thom's 'I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker'. Childish it may be, but my goodness the rose-tinted ignorance of this woman deserves to be taken down.
Verse 1:
'When the head of state didn't play guitar'
So what if he does? This is purely ammunition for those who think Tony Blair is bad news but have no idea why and so make fun of his 'embarrassing dad' persona. And for God's sake, if you want governmental idiocy, look at American governments from the Hippy period onwards! I thought you were supposed to be a Hippy! Or a punk…. What the hell are you?!
'Not everybody drove a car'
Not everyone drives a car nowadays. It doesn't make the music of yesteryear any better. Nor does an enlarged number of cars on the road stand up to the pollution that other sources have been doing since these apparently halcyon days. Cars nowadays are probably healthier than the massive Chevys everyone drove in the period to which you refer.
'When music really mattered and when radio was king'
As if music doesn't matter nowadays. The period Ms. Thom refers to was merely more willing to promote artists than the modern age because there were simply less of them. And as for radio being king, HOW MANY RADIO STATIONS ARE THERE IN THE WORLD?! MILLIONS! There's a station for every niche, and the internet makes them universally available. MTV is almost better than radio, we can control what we listen to and see it as well.
'When accountants didn't have control and the media couldn't buy your soul'
I don't even have an accountant… and as for the media buying my soul, what sort of flaky sap do you think I am, Thom? Who are you to say that I might erroneously buy whatever the media tells me to? This is purely designed to provide a non-existent nemesis for all those ill-informed young 'uns to rally against.
'And computers were still scary and we didn't know everything'
Yeah, I was scared of Roland On The Ropes too…
Chorus:
'Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air
I was born too late and to a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair'
Well, which do you want? Hippy or Punk? There's no middle ground. And, frankly, you would get beaten up by both tribes. Even the placid Hippies would get 'seriously weirded' by your incessant fence-sitting, and the Punks would beat the shit out of you before injecting you with heroin. They were ground-breaking times, but certainly not romantic and with no tolerance of anyone who couldn't decide what they were about ideologically.
Verse 2:
'When popstars still remained a myth and ignorance could still be bliss' –
See Michael Jackson. On second thoughts, don't. And that doesn't rhyme.
'And when God Saved the Queen she turned a whiter shade of pale'
So what you're saying is that when the Queen was 'saved' (from what, I can't understand), she stuck on Procol Harum as some sort of Bach-rip-off celebration?
'When my mom and dad were in their teens and anarchy was still a dream'
When your mum and dad were kids, anarchy was something they probably didn't bother with. Too much noise and fuss.
'And the only way to stay in touch was a letter in the mail'
Yeah, it's much better and easier to keep in touch now isn't it? It's great, technology. Stop trying to make it sound like you had it hard.
[Chorus]
Verse 3:
'When record shops were on top and vinyl was all that they stocked'
Some nice facts there. But things are better now, aren't they? People still buy music, and it's easier to get hold of the obscure stuff your local vinyl emporium had no chance of getting hold of. Good for getting loads of old punk records, eh Ms. Thom? And I thought you lived in London, a hive of vinyl-only record shops. Go in and never come out!
'And the super info highway was still drifting out in space'
I don't know what this is supposed to mean. The internet was drifting about in space? She's mental.
'Kids were wearing hand me downs and playing games meant kick arounds'
Yeah, isn't it super that lots of people can afford new clothes nowadays? And kids still play football. Don't talk shit.
'And footballers still had long hair and dirt across their face'
The Italians still do. And mud didn't go out of fashion in the 80s, it's always been there. Still is.
So effectively, Ms. Thom, you've listed a large amount of ways in which the world has improved since the 60s whilst trying to argue their comparative virtue to today's state of affairs. Why do you wish you were a punk rocker? So you could take drugs, spit on people and then beat them up? Sounds ace. I'd argue you're better off in your lovely flat listening to The Clash and pretending you know what they're on about.
Thom - Sucks
Verse 1:
'When the head of state didn't play guitar'
So what if he does? This is purely ammunition for those who think Tony Blair is bad news but have no idea why and so make fun of his 'embarrassing dad' persona. And for God's sake, if you want governmental idiocy, look at American governments from the Hippy period onwards! I thought you were supposed to be a Hippy! Or a punk…. What the hell are you?!
'Not everybody drove a car'
Not everyone drives a car nowadays. It doesn't make the music of yesteryear any better. Nor does an enlarged number of cars on the road stand up to the pollution that other sources have been doing since these apparently halcyon days. Cars nowadays are probably healthier than the massive Chevys everyone drove in the period to which you refer.
'When music really mattered and when radio was king'
As if music doesn't matter nowadays. The period Ms. Thom refers to was merely more willing to promote artists than the modern age because there were simply less of them. And as for radio being king, HOW MANY RADIO STATIONS ARE THERE IN THE WORLD?! MILLIONS! There's a station for every niche, and the internet makes them universally available. MTV is almost better than radio, we can control what we listen to and see it as well.
'When accountants didn't have control and the media couldn't buy your soul'
I don't even have an accountant… and as for the media buying my soul, what sort of flaky sap do you think I am, Thom? Who are you to say that I might erroneously buy whatever the media tells me to? This is purely designed to provide a non-existent nemesis for all those ill-informed young 'uns to rally against.
'And computers were still scary and we didn't know everything'
Yeah, I was scared of Roland On The Ropes too…
Chorus:
'Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air
I was born too late and to a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair'
Well, which do you want? Hippy or Punk? There's no middle ground. And, frankly, you would get beaten up by both tribes. Even the placid Hippies would get 'seriously weirded' by your incessant fence-sitting, and the Punks would beat the shit out of you before injecting you with heroin. They were ground-breaking times, but certainly not romantic and with no tolerance of anyone who couldn't decide what they were about ideologically.
Verse 2:
'When popstars still remained a myth and ignorance could still be bliss' –
See Michael Jackson. On second thoughts, don't. And that doesn't rhyme.
'And when God Saved the Queen she turned a whiter shade of pale'
So what you're saying is that when the Queen was 'saved' (from what, I can't understand), she stuck on Procol Harum as some sort of Bach-rip-off celebration?
'When my mom and dad were in their teens and anarchy was still a dream'
When your mum and dad were kids, anarchy was something they probably didn't bother with. Too much noise and fuss.
'And the only way to stay in touch was a letter in the mail'
Yeah, it's much better and easier to keep in touch now isn't it? It's great, technology. Stop trying to make it sound like you had it hard.
[Chorus]
Verse 3:
'When record shops were on top and vinyl was all that they stocked'
Some nice facts there. But things are better now, aren't they? People still buy music, and it's easier to get hold of the obscure stuff your local vinyl emporium had no chance of getting hold of. Good for getting loads of old punk records, eh Ms. Thom? And I thought you lived in London, a hive of vinyl-only record shops. Go in and never come out!
'And the super info highway was still drifting out in space'
I don't know what this is supposed to mean. The internet was drifting about in space? She's mental.
'Kids were wearing hand me downs and playing games meant kick arounds'
Yeah, isn't it super that lots of people can afford new clothes nowadays? And kids still play football. Don't talk shit.
'And footballers still had long hair and dirt across their face'
The Italians still do. And mud didn't go out of fashion in the 80s, it's always been there. Still is.
So effectively, Ms. Thom, you've listed a large amount of ways in which the world has improved since the 60s whilst trying to argue their comparative virtue to today's state of affairs. Why do you wish you were a punk rocker? So you could take drugs, spit on people and then beat them up? Sounds ace. I'd argue you're better off in your lovely flat listening to The Clash and pretending you know what they're on about.
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Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Comment by DanielR
he so fly!!!!
Comment by Jay
Comment by DanielR
i'm thinking i'm finding it far too easy to get angry at all these massive targets and institutions that are obviously never going to change (hence previous posts on NME, wicked wisdom etc...)
but heck, they're fun to write about.
Comment by Anonymous
I think you're just jealous that this beautiful young woman actually managed to come up with a catchy and original song for the 21st century. Enough said.
Comment by DanielR
as far as jealousy goes, i shall never be that of this artist, now matter how beautiful. there are plenty more less and more attractive artists making better songs that are a better reflection on the 21st century. to compare her social commentary to dylan and simon and the others you mention is pure eroneous speculation. different times, different context, different ideologies, different institutional forces, different everything.
PM is always open for discourse!
Comment by Anonymous
Her car comments are are ment to be interpreted as, when a fewer percentage people drove cars than do today. You of course wouldn't see that because you have no sense or respect for beautiful poetry.
If you read poetry (which i doubt you do) you would see that this is really poetry turned into a song. If you took the time (when your not busy giving your unwanted opinions to someone else) and actually read the words u might see their powerful meaning. but i doubt it becaus only intellectual people understand poetry, idiots just get angry.
Comment by Anonymous
i bet in the time period shes talking about there weren't groups of people criticizing great music either jack ass.
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Anonymous
there are clearly some fantastic lyricists out there past and present but sandi thom is neither good nor a lyricist. Or a poet for that matter....